It's 6am on Saturday. I just woke up. And I fell asleep yesterday at about 5pm. 13 hours. Aaaahhhhhh. Sweet bliss. I'm sure Brokaw peed on the carpet somewhere in that time period, I'll find that later.
Right now, I'm sipping this divine Caribou coffee, I must say, I brewed to perfection. And listening to Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong album. And just looking at the lights twinkling on my Christmas tree.
And I just read a blog that my friend Christin's husband's tumor is shrinking. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! Yesterday I heard good news from two other friends, too. It is just obvious sometimes, the power of prayer... and I love the calming, comforting feeling of resting in that reality.
It's such a departure from where I usually live. In between sleep and showers and deadlines and frustrations at work. And the lists of things that seem to never actually get done like oil changes and Christmas cards and dry cleaning. Or wishes that I was in this place I've been striving so hard to be for what seems like SO long. I get restless. And grumpy. Even edge towards hopeless, wondering if maybe I've taken the wrong path all along.
Then there are the other wonders - like what if/when I actually do get there, it's not great? It's not fun and interesting and I don't learn something new everyday or it's boring?
But for now. FOR NOW. It's 6am on a Saturday and my Christmas tree is beautiful and my dog and cat are sleeping and my mom is e-mailing and Sarah McLachlan is singing and her voice is so beautiful it makes me want to just close my eyes so all I can do is hear.
And there ARE all these blessings and answered prayers and reasons to HOPE.
It's so nice sometimes to stop. to rest. to breathe in and out. And realize it. The reality that isn't so scary after all.