Saturday, November 25, 2017

Adoption: Talk about putting your heart out there

Doing my due diligence while I'm catching up over here. Burying the lead, as we say in the newsroom, on the biggest news of 2017, and perhaps the biggest news of my entire LIFE.

Michael and I announced to the world in October that we are pursuing domestic infant adoption to grow our family. You can keep up with all things adoption on the website we created:

I know I've shared here and there the desire that I've had for a long time to be a mom. I don't remember how much detail I've gone into about our journey so far, but if you watch the video above, you'll be all caught up!

Bottom line: I am certain we are on the path that God planned all along for our family and I can't wait (figure of speech... obviously I can wait... and that's what I'm doing right now) to see how the story unfolds.


After years of pouring my heart out on the internet, I've cocooned over the last couple of years. I've written though, about how I never stopped writing. I thought about opening up my journal and posting pieces of it here. I posted one. This whole time I've had this tug in my heart to share my story, to be a good steward of my story. I've been trying to discern what that means in my current place. I've thought about starting a YouTube channel. I've thought about starting a Podcast. I wasn't confident about any of the ideas. None felt sustainable. 

I've worried about things like:
  • When will I have time to do this?
  • Who will care? My life is so boring now.
  • Learning new technical skills is overwhelming right now. My brain hurts.
  • What am I seeking? Am I doing this for me? If so, as my friend Jo says, "nay nay."

So, here I am. Stumbling out of the gate yet again. Unsure of what I'm after, of what success in this venture looks like. Thankful for a space to share my thoughts and the freedom to do so, no matter what they are. 

It turns out pursuing adoption means really putting your heart on the line. You have to share intimate details of your life. On forms, to social workers and lawyers, in a profile book that is an accurate portrayal of us but not screaming "pick us, pick us!" and in the future - with a child's first family. A family that puts their ultimate trust in us, choosing us to raise their precious baby. That love and sacrifice leave me speechless. 

It feels really vulnerable because it is really vulnerable. But it's so worth it. Please feel invited to come along with us as we put one foot in front of another on this journey. (You can follow the link above to get to our adoption website where we'll be posting updates.)

Oh, hi there

Looking back on 2017, with Chef Boyardee
A few years ago when my husband was enrolling in home health care in one of the counties we were living in at the time (our life has involved a lot of moving, so I can't remember where this happened) a woman he was talking to over the phone said "Let's start Monday."

It was Thursday. Michael shook his head, "Excuse me?" To which the woman replied, "Well, it's almost the end of the day on Thursday and tomorrow is Friday, so let's just start on Monday."

It was ridiculous. Why would you put a much-needed service like home health care off for that long?

But if we're honest, we can all relate, right? I'll start the diet on Monday. I'll go to the gym on Monday. Well, it's Saturday, might as well have pecan pie for breakfast.

I think if we're not really careful we can coast at the end of the year. Well, it's Thanksgiving which means it's practically Christmas, so we'll put that on the New Year's resolution list.

I want to encourage you to spend what I like to call the "Friday" of the year (end of November/December) revving up instead of puttering out. Use these slower weeks filled with holidays to intentionally look back, take stock, set goals and dreams for the new year dawning. I've put this into practice over the last few years and I've been pleased with the progress it's helped me make in my life.

Slow down. Think about what you need, what you want. Write it down. Think about the steps you'll need to take in between here and there in order to make it happen. Pray. What does God want for you? I know this: He wants your heart. Seek Him and you'll find Him. It's not a magic trick. Knowing God doesn't solve all of your problems, but it does give you direction.