I am so proud of Michael for sharing from his heart yesterday. I know it wasn't easy. But look at the response we've had from you, our dear readers. His words, even the raw, painful words were real. And you felt that, right?
Thank you for your sweet, encouraging comments.
Thank you for the love.
Thank you for putting yourselves out there, and sharing the painful parts of what you are going through.
We all have those days.
We all plead with God.
We all want to know why, or why not or why not now? Don't we?
When we're in the middle of the storm like we were last Friday ('the storm,' such a "Christian" thing to say, isn't it? haha), it was uncomfortable. My poor husband. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say that would make anything better. All I could do was hold him, wipe the tears off of his face, and try to remind him that it would get better.
That night was Michael's Birthday party. He had been looking forward to it for weeks. I tried telling him, we'll get through this, I'll get you dressed, and tonight, all of your friends are going to be together, and we're going to have the best time. And your heart is going to be so full. It will be the opposite of how you feel right now.
Eventually, bless his heart, he cried it out. I cried a lot too. But, I felt strong. And normally, MICHAEL is the strong one, an I'M the one falling apart. So me being emotionally strong is not normal! I believe God works in marriages. We have seen this with our own eyes. When one of us is down, the other has super strength, that is strong enough to carry the other one. I know that strength did not come from myself. Because I too was mad right along with him. I was heartbroken. I agree that it's not fair, that he doesn't deserve this, and that it's enough already.
But, I was strong. Because I was given strength and courage.
So, I did what had to be done.
In the bathroom.
In the bed, as I wiped his tears, and got him dressed and lifted him into his wheelchair.
And though we started that day at about 3:00 in the afternoon, with puffy eyes and red cheeks, we did it together.
And by 7:00, we were laughing and joking and eating and drinking with Michael's best friends.
I was so happy looking over at him, splitting an okay pepper steak (we have become quite the little food snobs) that we had done it.
We had made it to the other side.
With a little help from our friends.
*The middle photo is us mocking our drivers license pictures. I look like a bug-eyed serial killer in my DMV photo, and Michael looks like a happily drugged guy who had a stroke. :)