It's before 5:00am and I'm sitting in my blue chair in the living room, watching the morning weather, wincing through the "news" about Michael Jackson's doctor, and absorbing heat from a heating pad on my neck. I woke up with a crick (sp?) in my neck yesterday and it still hurts! Ouch.
I've been reading "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. If you ever want to feel like you are a horrible Christian, get this book! I say that in a good way. He really challenges us to step up and live our faith, not just talk about it and not just phone it in.
Yesterday, I read where Mr. Chan suggested you take 1 Corinthians 13, you know, the one famously quoted in weddings.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres."
Mr. Chan suggests looking at this a different way, replacing the word "Love," with your name. So for me it would be "Dana is patient, Dana is kind... She does not envy..."
So, I read it like that.
And I almost fell on my knees reading my Kindle, right there on the metro.
I am NOT patient. I am only SOMETIMES kind. I DO envy, all the time! I do boast. I am so proud, I do not even like to accept help from anyone. Okay, I don't think I really dishonor others, but I can be totally self seeking, I have recently been more easily angered (especially at my poor husband!) I can keep a record of wrongs (don't even ask me about my birthday) I doubt trust, give up hope and want to give up sometimes.
Wow. What an awesome wife, huh? I was feeling really convicted when I realized all of this. But, I'm thankful for that conviction. So, this is my repentance. The truth is, I know I cannot love like this (pardon me, that was not on purpose!) on my own. I need Jesus to pull this off!