Monday, April 10, 2006

manic monday

Bangle100 Man, did these girls have it right!  24 hours post my bliss from yesterday, I find myself having "just another ..... ......" Yep.  It started this morning.  I stepped on the scale. Bad news bears.  me + 3 pounds! 3 pounds! Ew!! I guess I've been a bit of denial lately.  I have been scarfing down chocolate like it's on the endangered species list.  Don't know why.  Hmm. 

Then, there was work.  I woke up extra early which was nice because that gave me plenty of time to catch up on all of the newspapers, websites, etc. more than usual.  But on my way to work, I got a headache on the Parkway that pretty much lasted until well... I still feel it throbbing.  But I don't feel right complaining about that because I know people dealing with REAL health issues, and my baby throbber just doesn't count in the grand scheme of things. 

Okay, back to work.  So, there I was thinking I had a pretty good day, until I was filled in on how I fell short. Gee, thanks.  I'm such a grump tonight, sorry!  There's probably more of this ahead, so if you're already making that little violin sign with your thumb and your index finger, go ahead and stop reading.

Anyway, so, as I've hinted before... this job is crazy.  And I'm trying, trying, trying. Yet it seems my best is never good enough.  There's always something that could have been written better, produced up, broken out, something.  When?  When will I get it?  When will I be victorious?  I realized tonight, however, that I produced my first show here just 2 months ago, today.  And that was only half of a show, really.  So geez, chill.  I'm doing okay, right?  I just hate this.  I know this is a bigger league, that there's a different pace, a learning curve, that I'm hard on my self, all of the above... please... I just want my confidence back.  Nothing shakes you like losing that.  Even if you suck, but you're confident, it's better than actually being good and thinking you suck.

PittsburghpiratesbobbinheadOkay, enough of that.  I also learned today that the Pirates are losers.  That stinks!  I'm going to be a fan anyways.  Who says you can't come back from a 13 year slump?  Hey, they've been at this a lot longer than me, pushing a boulder up a hill... perhaps they have a thing or two I could learn.  By the way, today was opening day here in Pittsburgh, and the game was sold out.  The Pirates lost... just as everyone thought they would.  But they had quite a crowd, so who cares.  I already have plans to attend a game in the near future, and I'm psyched!! Go Pirates!!

Back to work... the one good thing about having a manic monday... it's fodder for a good workout.  Kindling for a fired up cardio session.  Thank you!  I need to lose these pounds that have found me!

Random: I heard an old school song by Mary J. Blige tonight, and even though I was nursing my headache... I still got up and danced by myself in my house.  Download "family affair." It's probably not the family-friendliest song... but I will take you back and get your booty shakin'.  Good times.

Images_3 "It's only gonna be about a matter of time
Before you get loose and start loose your mind
Cop you a drink, go head and rock your ice
Cause we celebrating No More Drama in our life
With a great track pumpin', everybody's jumpin'
Goin ahead and twist your back and get your body bumpin'
I told you leave your situations at the door
So grab somebody and get your a** on the dance floor"

such a monday theme song.  sorry bangles. I need more bump than you can offer tonight.

1 comment:

Gretchen said...

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.”
Don't fret my pet, once we get what we want we need something new to strive for.There is always a new cute pair of shoes or handbag no matter how cute the ones you just got are. Now apply that to work issues and you will get what I am talking about :)