Saturday, April 25, 2015
Timehop: Then, now, and trying to let go of the "what's next?" life
Do you have the Timehop app on your phone?
Life is a giant Timehop, you know.
In the wise words of Truvy, "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face."
This morning, I had an hour of quiet on the patio. Well, after Brokaw begged me to bring his blanket out there so he could join me. God forbid he lay on the actual ground, you know, like a dog.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. For where I am. Right here on this back porch.
I never thought I'd be here.
In Myrtle Beach. Random.
I didn't think I wanted to be a News Director.
As I scan the app on my phone, I see a girl at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. A girl sitting for new head shots because she's all about blogging and writing. An eager crossfitter. An exhausted caregiver. A girl who learns how to bake. How to plant a little garden.
I hop from one thing to the next. It's all documented with those little graphics that say "1 year ago... 4 years ago..."
I am a naturally driven person. I came out that way. I never struggled with making and reaching goals. My struggle is that I'm addicted to it. I always have to be moving towards whatever the next thing is.
When I was a young producer, it was all about getting to a higher profile newscast. Then a bigger market. My big dream? DC. The White House. I did it. Then it was getting the big interviews on the campaign trail.
When it came to love, I slowly fell in love with a boy over the internet who I always knew deep-down, he'd be the one for me.
It wasn't until I got married that I faced things that I couldn't just hop over.
My husband's disability was a huge one. It rocked my world. Fundamentally changed me on the inside and the outside. I'm used to it now. I've made peace with "three."
A couple of years ago, I thought I'd turn the amp down on my career, move home, make a baby. It didn't work out like that. I was sad for a while.
But, now I look around here where I am, and I'm not sad I don't have a baby. I came through that and ended up in this place. This random place. Myrtle Beach.
It turns out, I love being a news director.
Time marches on.
I'm a grown-up now. Maybe some time soon I'll learn to stop thinking so much about where I've been and where I'm going and enjoy the right now.
Labels: Love Life