Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays

Okay, Folks (to use one of Michael's words) here goes. You've told me you like it when I get real. This is just about as real as it gets. I cry almost every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. Well, more so on Mondays and Wednesdays... I think the joy of Friday in and of itself helps me to fight off the tears on Friday mornings.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings a woman comes to our house to get my husband up and help him in the bathroom. She's there for three hours. I hate this fact. I hate most of all that he needs this help. The fact that she comes makes me realize, over and over, each time she comes, that my husband is paralyzed. I hate realizing that over and over. I don't know how I keep managing to forget in between. Our life is very normal. We're very much in love, and we have so many moments that are just like everyone else. But Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings we aren't like everyone else. And it always feels like his injury just happened, and I feel shocked, like "What? Seriously? That can't be for real." Even though Michael broke his neck 17 years ago... half his life ago. He's been paralyzed ever since before we even met, yet it still smacks me in the face like it happened yesterday.

So, on MWF's, I get up and take care of chores and make breakfast and lunch and leave it in the fridge for Michael. I kiss him and lay his phone on his chest. Then, I go to my bathroom and get ready. I'm usually there when she arrives. We say good morning. I leave for work, and M shouts to me from the other room, "Bye, Sweetheart." I'll say goodbye, have a good day, I love you.

And I walk out. His wheelchair is usually in the living room, like this. So it's not in the way.
The door shuts behind me, I plug my ipod earphones in and start my walk to the metro or to the car... and that's when it happens. I cry. Sometimes just a couple of tears. Sometimes, it's an all out whaling breakdown. Then, somewhere along the way, I pull myself together, smile, and do my job. I wait to hear from him via text message, that he's up and at 'em. When he forgets to text me, I freak out! :)

It makes me so sad. Sometimes I feel mad, too. This is the part where you'll realize just how much of an immature jerk of a wife I can be. I'll actually be jealous. Can you believe that? I'll be jealous because while I'm getting up at 4:00 or 4:30, he gets to lay there until 7:00am when she gets there to get him up! Wow. Like I'd like to trade places? Actually, if I could, I would, sometimes. It does get really old watching the one you love struggle... even though Michael handles everything so gracefully and with such a cheerful attitude... Sometimes just the visuals are too much to handle and I wish I could make some sort of trade deal with God just so he can have a break.

Soon, we'll go back to a season where I'm handling all of M's care again. It's not ideal long term, but it's good for a season. Last night, we were talking about it and I asked M if he's dreading it or looking forward to it. "I think we're ready," he says. You hear that? "WE're." He's always so quick to stress that WE are in this together. I love that. I need that. Because it's awful lonely sometimes. Together, we can do ANYTHING! I truly believe that because I've experienced it.

There are a million things I never imagined I could handle, but I've done it, together with M and with God's strength. I hate being weak. I hate being vulnerable. I hate that I can't fix him. He hates that he can't fix me adjusting to all of this, and working through all of the grief and emotions. All we want to do is make it so the other one doesn't have to go through the tough parts. But, I suppose that's not the whole idea. I have to trust that all of this has a purpose.

I'm secretly looking forward to December... when I no longer have some other woman all up in my kitchen (major territorial issues there! haha) and when I don't have to watch him SLEEP IN while I'm hard at work! wink wink...

Happy Birthday to My Love!

Four a.m. alarm this morning, but that's okay. I popped out of the bed with excitement!
I had some very important baking to do.
Funny how I didn't make this morning's creation from scratch... because what I baked this morning is much more important than the muffins and scones I bake for fun on Saturday mornings.
I got up early to bake a cake for my husband.

The fun thing about baking before your husband is up is you don't have to share the spatula licking with anyone. Yum!

Here is my dear Michael's birthday cake:

Do you know my Michael?
My husband is amazing.
He's handsome.
And funny.
And caring.
And creative.
And brilliant.
And he gives great massages.
He holds me when I cry.
Makes me laugh. (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not)
He loves people.
And the Lord.

And he likes to eat cake for breakfast. A fun tradition of our own.
So, that's what we did. Along with eggs and turkey bacon. Because, well, even a peanut butter chocolate cake only has so much protein, you know?

We ate our cake wearing pajamas and with our crazy bed heads. And M opened his cards and a gift that was not-so-beautifully wrapped in an Old Navy store bag.Then we snuggled for a bit before starting our day and parting ways. The celebration continues tonight with a haircut, dinner and a trip to the Apple Store! Yeah!

Love this guy!

Side note: This picture was taken three years ago, when I went to TX to celebrate Michael's birthday. It was the day after his birthday that we decided to be more than just friends, yay!

When you see him, you may think he's "an inspiration."
And, I do too.
Just not the way you do.

My wish for him this birthday is for him to feel all of this love everyone has for him.
That he will see himself the way I see him.
My hero.
My best friend.
My favorite, everything.

Happy Birthday, Babe! I love you more.

Is Combover One Word or Two?

Because... I have one. Yeah... every now and then I get this sudden urge to just "put myself out there" on this blog. It has a healing effect for me, and I can tell by the traffic of this blog that you readers like the more vulnerable posts the most of anything I write... so here's one for you! Now, you better comment and tell me how beautiful I am so I'm not mortified and I don't go out and buy every hat in Northern Virginia. Because I can't even afford that.
It's kind of weird for me to post about this, right? I mean the whole idea of a comb over is to hide the bald spot, right? And here I am talking about it. Don't you even think about looking for it the next time you see me! If I notice you doing that, I will call you out! Don't say I didn't warn you.

Here it is, by the way. Because I know you're all dying to see it.
Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! I can't believe I'm doing this. But there it is. My bald spot. I hate it. I can't believe this is happening. I have been to two different doctors about this because hello! I am a 30 something year old YOUNG woman who is otherwise healthy, who eats healthy, is active, and just, well, shouldn't be losing my hair.

**Note** I realize that this *in perspective* to someone else who is losing their hair because of cancer treatment or something is a non-story. I understand that. But you know how I feel about comparing yourself to someone who "has it worse off than you." I do not condone that kind of "perspective." You learn that when you feel people looking at you and you can see in their eyes that they're thinking "I can't even imagine...." Yuck. No thank you! Please don't do that! I refuse to do it, too, I will stand on my own principle.

The jury is still out... it looks like I either have Alopecia (google it) or I have a hormone imbalance (google Cortisol) caused by chronically elevated stress levels. I actually have always prided myself on my ability to perform amazingly well under pressure, even constant pressure. But if my hair is going to be all falling out and what not... I will do yoga or whatever I need to do to calm down.

I appreciate your prayers. And compliments on my comb over. And, if any of you have ever experienced this, please share your story with me. I'd appreciate that even more. Thanks.

Our HOT Date!

Michael checking out his Vietnamese "tea"

Friday night, Michael and I were planning on going out for a "cheap date night." That sounds kind of funny when I look at it written out, "cheap date night" sounds kind of bad, but it wasn't! Our original plan was to go to Popeye's! (M has been seeing the commercial on TV and so he's been craving it!) But we made a last minute detour in the mall and ate at a little Vietnamese restaurant. Neither one of us had ever had Vietnamese before, so it was fun.

I ordered what amounts to chicken noodle soup. Michael ordered beef. I asked the waiter if it was spicy. "We keep the spicy on the table," he said, pointing to some hot sauce. I thought that was cute.

We had some sprouts and jalapenos to mix in our soup. Well..... M swallowed one of those jalapenos, and let me tell you.... that was like some sort of super jalapeno or something because there was pretty much smoke coming out of his ears!! I kid you not, the man's eyes were blood shot! He looked like a basset hound. He was almost in tears. I bought some expired potato chips from the front counter at his request. He chomped on those, and drank some of that "tea" that was really more like a smoothie, and a couple of HOURS later, he was back to normal.

So, yeah..... our HOT date...

The Most Random Dinner Ever

This post is for everyone who thinks I'm the most amazing chef ever. This is to prove that I do not always hit it out of the park!
Last Thursday... post election night and pre-grocery shopping... we had the most random dinner ever. It was made up of whatever random leftovers we had in the fridge, plus some fish from the freezer.

Check it out..
Talipia (just sauteed with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper)
Roasted red pepper
Random frozen veggies such as corn on the cob and like a handful of mixed vegetables
Leftover asparagus that was slimy and limp the first go-around...
A lipton packet of rice, I think this one was cheddar broccoli (I love these as sides! And although I try to not make very many "processed" foods, these are a favorite around here!)
And we had some Wegmans Italian bread dipped in olive oil and these "bread dipping herbs" I got randomly at Stein Mart....

Completely random, right?
But you know what??? It was pretty enjoyable!
Sometimes, you just have to embrace the randomness and rock the leftovers, right?

Girls Trip to NYC

Okay... I don't know who I think I am lately... but I had another trip by myself! Check it out!!!
Two of my best friends, Gretchen and Courtney have been to see this Broadway show, Rock of Ages like, oh I don't know, 6 times... I think it's safe to say they're kind of obsessed. Well, last weekend, another trip to NYC was in order to celebrate Courtney's birthday, and I had the pleasure of heading up with Gretchen and Riki to NJ, getting Court, and heading into the City for the day Sunday to see the show, eat some cupcakes, and head back to DC. It went by so fast! I enjoyed every. single. moment.
Here are some highlights:
Arriving at Courtney's house and seeing this little guy. I can't believe little Roland is two years old!! Where does the time go? Isn't he a cutie! He looks more and more like Courtney every time I see him!
Taking the train to and from the city. Not exactly the way we planned it, but everything worked out perfectly. Blondes rule. Gretchen and I look like we could be sisters here!
Starbucks. Check.
Hilarious cab ride in which we made a cabbie named Ricky's day. Check.
Cupcakes from Magnolia. Check.
We ate them in Rockefeller Plaza.
I walked right by 30 Rock (where I used to dream of working ever since middle school) and I didn't feel a thing. Crazy, right? The truth settled in that I am so completely happy professionally that I don't even dream that dream anymore! Awesome!
Finally... the show. O. M. G. A-freaking-mazing! It was so funny, so entertaining. I was singing along, laughing, clapping, standing and cheering for the guitarist who is now personal friends with my friend Gretchen (her ways amaze me!) and asking my friends what certain a'hem references meant. :)

Thank you so much for an awesome time, Gretchen, Courtney and Riki!!! And Happy Birthday, Court!!! Love you guys!

Election Night

*Little note from me first: From time to time, you'll see the "theme" of this blog drift into little ramblings from ME, and it will be about my thoughts, my work, my friends, or whatever. Since I stopped writing on my own personal blog, and writing here, I still have to have a place to get my ramblings out there. If you're not interested, just let me know, and I'll stop. Okay, little note now over.*

How has it been a WEEK since election night? Seriously? I feel like I am still recovering! Election night to someone who works TV news is like the NFL draft is to the biggest NFL fan. (Hi Gretchen.) There is a lot of TV watching, a lot of armchair quarter-backing, and a lot of pizza.

When you work in the news business, it's a given that you'll be working all night on election night. It's just one of those unspoken rules. I have so many crazy election night memories. Like the time my political analyst had a nose bleed.... on the set. And the time I went to one reporter live, but she didn't think she was supposed to be on, so she literally ducked down to the floor. I love election night, because I'm a political nerd, and also because I'm an adrenaline junkie and you just can't beat the election night fix!

This year, my assignment was to stake out a Tea Party watch results party in Arlington. It was fun! I have some great co-workers, let me tell you. It's always fun. And, there wasn't pizza, but thank God, there was food. So, it was a good time!

I left my love at home to stay up all night (pretty much) by himself. Thankfully, I have the kind of husband who looks at a mandatory "all nighter" like this as an adventure. Meanwhile... I had two beds... to myself.
I love staying in hotels! Even though this really was more like a nap than spending 'the night.'
Of course, I did manage to take a cheesy picture of myself in the mirror, all Pioneer Woman-esque.
At the Tea Party results watch Party, we interviewed Virginia Attorney General (and rising Republican rock star) Ken Cuccinelli.
Jennifer's husband hijacked her standup. They are a really cute couple, let me tell you!
Ian and I refused to wait for the elevator...
For me, this year, the day *after* election day was the really FUN day! It was crazy busy... starting with the GOP leadership meeting the press that morning.
I'll give you a peek into what it's like covering these cats on Capitol Hill...
First.. you line up outside. They let still cameras in first, then video cameras, and basically, you're herded like cattle.
Here are my two co-workers, Matt and David. Matt ran the audio, David ran camera.
Action! We are escorted into this tiny room where John Boehner and Eric Cantor take like three questions in five minutes, then we are herded back out...
It was exciting! I could tell, though, that these guys were exhausted!
That afternoon, the GOP leaders of the House, Senate and Republican Governor's Association had a press conference. The most exciting part of this for me was two-fold. One, I got an e-mail from my friend Nathan that he saw me there in the background of some reporter's live shot, it was great to hear from him! Second, I just think Haley Barbour is a little bumpkin. What can I say? I like chubby people from the south, I think they're cute. Bumpkin like. Good times.
The President also had a press conference that day, but I didn't make it to that since I was on the Hill. Another co-worker went to the White House to cover the President.
This picture of POTUS is not from that day, but from another day the week before the election when he made a statement about that whole cargo plane bomb plot. Drama!
The room looks kind of empty from my vantage point, but it really wasn't!

I guess that's pretty much it. I was completely exhausted after election day, but felt completely satisfied. I love my job!!! It's so exciting! Living a dream. Living a dream. God is so good!

I Love This Time Of Year

Barefoot in the Kitchen

Saturday, I literally spent the entire day in the kitchen. Wearing PJ pants, barefoot, getting flour all over the place. I love this kind of Saturday! We slept in then ate a really filling LATE "breakfast," which included pumpkin french toast! I had a half of a cup of pumpkin puree that needed to be used up, and I found this recipe when I googled "1/2 cup pumpkin puree." So glad I did.

Here's the recipe:

Pumpkin French Toast
2 large eggs
1/2 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 cup milk (I used whole because that's just what we had around, but you can use whatever)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
4 slices of bread

In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, pumpkin puree, milk, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice until smooth. Pour into a shallow dish. Preheat griddle over medium-high heat. Lightly grease. Soak each slice of bread in the egg mixture, turning once to coat evenly. Cook french toast on preheated griddle until it is cooked through. Dust plate with ground cinnamon or additional pumpkin pie spice (I always have to add powdered sugar too). Serve with mayple syrup.

This recipe claims it makes enough for 2 servings of 2 slices each. I still have egg mixture left, so I think it could easily coat 8 pieces of bread!

Enjoy!!

After breakfast, I got my cook on!!!!!!!! I made cheesy chicken spaghetti (I've blogged about that before, it's one of my ultimate Paula Deen recipes, and it's a major crowd pleaser!), Challah (shout out to The Frugal Girl who e-mailed me the recipe when her blog was down!)

And a chocolate, marshmallow, toffee pie. My first time making that. It was some rich, chocolatey goooooodnesssss!!!! Definitely need to make that again! Yum-OOOOO.
The whole point of this day-in-the-kitchen was to bless the socks off of my friends Gretchen and Jason who just brought THIS LITTLE DARLING BABY GIRL into the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, I was slightly excited to meet her!! Baby Bettis is soooooo cute and sweet. I could just eat her up! I don't know why we say that about adorable babies, because obviously, no one actually eats babies up (I hope!) but seriously.... her tiny newbornness made me GUSH. And pumpkin hands! Really? Swoon.

Isn't it such a special thing when one of your best friends has a baby? You immediately love the child. So awesome. What a miracle, every time!

He's so cute

Ain't he cute in his new sweater? I love this guy.