Saturday, February 18, 2012

On Letting Someone Else Take Care of My Man, an Update

Let's see.  I guess it's been a month or two since we started having home health aides come in and help Michael with his personal care on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

You may remember we tried this a couple of years ago, and I just hated it so much, so for a long time, I was his primary caregiver.  Even when it meant getting up at 3:00 in the morning.

I knew it was going to be an adjustment period going back to this, but we both felt like we were ready to try again, plus now we don't have to pay for it, and it would help for him to have people on a regular basis, so when I travel for work, they can be more reliable, etc.

We are doing pretty well with it!  They come at 7:00am, so it's not like it used to be when the wouldn't come until 9:00am or 10:00am and he wasn't really starting his day until 12:00pm or 1:00pm, so that's good.

There have only been a couple of times when they were several hours late, so that's good.

I have only cried about it once, so that's good. Granted, it was a big, fat, hyperventilating UGLY cry, but we got through it.

I cried because I found out these women have to come for 5 HOURS each day.  And this may sound terribly childish and stupid, but I was mad. I wish I could be in my own home for 5 hours at a time on any given day, you know?  I also cried because I noticed one day that she had folded our laundry.  Again, call me a childish, selfish stupid person, but it made me uncomfortable.  Some people would probably love to come home to their laundry being folded for them.  But it made me sad and mad.

Michael is the laundry folder around here. And he is not getting out of it!  Our situation is unique in some ways.  Like me being the bread winner.  So, I explained to Michael that the fact that he sweeps and mops every week, and takes care of the dogs, and folds all of the clothes provides a very important balance to our home life and our marriage.  Girlfriend folding the laundry messed with that balance.

So, it only happened once.

And there was one other time the bed was made really weird.  Like all turned down just on his side, and left up on my side, with no pillows.  Like you know, I don't exist.

My poor husband. He has to deal with all of my insane mess.  Honestly, after the crazy emotions pass, and I'm writing this stuff here, I realize how stupid and crazy it is, and I am reminded that I too, am a psycho, hormonal wife.  It sucks sometimes to be human.  But, hey - I'm throwing this out there - just being completely honest about my experience.  So, there you go.

I do miss our Bible reading breakfasts together.  We talked about that last night. We're going to eat dinner at the table together with some nice music in the background and not the TV news, and be more intentional about connecting during that time.  I think that will help.

But, overall, it's going really well.  Michael is very well taken care of, that is a HUGE relief.  I have been going to work earlier, and it's been good, I've been getting a lot done.  I've been better about packing lunch instead of eating out, because I have time to pack it in the mornings.  I like the fact that his bathroom stays clean even though I'm not cleaning it.  I have not found any hair weave in my bathroom trash can recently, and that is also nice.

Sometimes the fact that we have to consider someone else when making plans kind of stinks (see above text message, after I had worked like a 13 hour day), but that's okay.  I really appreciate these women for taking good care of my man, so I can sacrifice my own preference and schedule every now and then.  I'm learning.

Thanks for your prayers.

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