Tuesday, May 3, 2011

On Getting Help from Friends

I've been meaning to post this for, I don't know, weeks.

I don't know about you, but I have a bit of a problem asking for help.
Actually, a big problem.
I hate it.
Which is funny, because I love to help other people, and I don't think it's pitiful or needy when someone else needs a helping hand, but my prideful self absolutely DETESTS needing anything.

I also hate it when my husband needs anything. And I mean anything.
And this is a bit problematic, because, well, he's a quadriplegic.
I forget that, all the time! Oops.
It's so bad... my hatred of help... even to the point that I get mad at him if he asks for help. I'm ridiculous, I know.

But, I'm working on it, okay?

Recently, a big victory, and a small one. Both of which I'm going to share with you now.

First, the BIG victory.
I went out of town, for one night only, to New York.
Our friends, Danny and Nassika, had invited us over for dinner.
But, since I had the work trip, I couldn't go.
My first thought was - oh, we can reschedule.

Then, something remarkable happened!
The far fetched thought that Mr. Wonderful could go by himself! What, he can leave the apartment by himself??? Amazing, right?
I'm horrible.

It was so great. While I was in New York, realizing I had forgotten my pants, and interviewing Donald Trump, the Mr. was here, having fun (and an excellent meal) with good friends.
Doesn't that make you want to DROOL?
They were kind enough to pick Michael up, take him back home, and help him get into bed that night.

Admitting we could use this help was a good thing because it gives that friendship room to grow, and that's where the real good stuff is.
I'm so thankful for good friends.

The small victory was this --
Ah, yes, a whole pile of tied ties.
My friend and co-worker John, who ties the best of ties, tied each and every single one (and some bonuses!) of Michael's ties. So I don't have to next time he wears one.
Trust me.
This is good for our marriage.
Because one of us gives annoying instructions and the other one does not particularly enjoy following directions.

Funny - as I write this, I'm struggling with this same issue again. I'm heading out of town for another work trip tomorrow. These friends will be helping Michael again. And while I am incredible grateful for their friendship and their help, I still hate it. Just a little bit.


Anonymous said...

Knowing those friends VERY WELL (they are my cousins) I will tell you....they absolutely do not even think twice about helping. And neither do I and neither would you if the roles were reversed. It's all good! Relax about it and enjoy your trip.

Tamara said...

Oh I love this. Guess what Dana? This might be a great opportunity for you to practice the fine art of RECEIVING. :) Sometimes it's a tough task for all strong people who can easily fend for themselves.

LaDonna said...

This is so awesome! Love the big victory and the small victory! Sometimes it takes more strength to accept help than to do it ourselves. My dear, you are getting stronger and stronger. I love you so much!

Tracy said...

Well I love you both and this made me laugh because I think maybe Mike needs to help you pack next time! Just Kidding calm down! Shewwww Mike thank you for being such a rock in this ladies life! You guys are an awesome pair!

Dana Brown Ritter said...

Tracy, you are SO RIGHT!