Saturday, December 11, 2010

We're Not Going Home for Christmas.

There, I said it.
That's right.
We aren't going home for Christmas this year.

Usually, our plan is to spend Thanksgiving with my family (easier because they're all in the same place) and Christmas with Michael's family. This year, it worked out better to spend Thanksgiving with his family. And we were planning on going to see my family for Christmas.

But, it was totally stressing me out!!
Take a look at my mother's house.
It is a beautiful, awesome, on the water beach house. One of my favorite places on earth. It's bright and cheery, and peaceful and always incredibly clean. I love it. And I love going to visit in the summertime when M and I can stay on the futon in the Man Cave downstairs, and there are no worries.

But the idea of Christmas was stressing me out! I was waking up in the middle of the night last week, trying to figure out how we were go get M up to the THIRD FLOOR for Christmas Eve, back down to the SECOND FLOOR to sleep that night,then back up to the THIRD FLOOR again for Christmas morning. Then back down to the ground floor to leave. I actually cried a couple of times.

Not that we couldn't figure it out. I'm sure with a series of my mom's friends who have strong backs, we could have made it. But it would have been a lot. Up and down flights of steps is not easy. It just isn't. And not only do you have to get him up and down the steps, you also have to get the chair up and down the steps.

I kept visualizing all of that, plus the 7 hour drive back and forth, plus the fact that we would probably also have to stop in Chesapeake to see my Dad and my Sister and her family, plus my Granny lives in California now so she wouldn't be there, plus my Brother who is in the Army isn't going to be able to be home for Christmas.... and the giant Christmas math problem was adding up to what was just a really hard decision for me.

I pondered the idea of us just staying home by ourselves for Christmas. I have a few days off and we could just relax around here. Open gifts and stockings by our own Christmas tree. Maybe I could make my first Turkey for our own Christmas dinner. We could relax. Snuggle. Read the Christmas story together. Christmas can be just ours.

And I felt a huge sense of relief. My mom has told me when that is the case, you know you've made the right decision. The next day, I called her and told her. And I think she was a little sad, but she mostly understood. And truth be told, it was stressing her out, too.

No need for all that stress! I'm really looking forward to our first Christmas just us. It will be really special. And we're lucky because I think most people have to wait until they have kids to de-tach and claim Christmas for themselves, but we get to do it now :)

We'll make lots of phone calls Christmas morning. And we'll see both sets of parents when they separately come visit us, in January. What a relief!
Our first Christmas together, in Texas. 2008


Anonymous said...

Hey girl! We had the same problem and made the same decision when we had our first son. Christmas is the holiday that we call our own. I wanted to make my own traditions and spend that one holiday with just "my" family. We're still trying to figure out which traditions we want to establish but we have time! Lord willing, we'll have years and years to figure that out. Kudos to you (and Merry Christmas too)! - Shaunna


You will be Home for Christmas. The home you and Mike make together. We vowed once we had Carson that we would wake up in our own beds on Christmas Morning. It makes Christmas much less hectic and more enjoyable! You will make your own traditions too!

Tamara said...

We're staying home for Christmas too. Christmas is stressful enough! Time for us to figure out our own traditions.
I can't wait to hear what kind of traditions you two cook up! :)

Kristen Maddux said...

I totally agree that when, after a difficult decision, peace and relief sweeps over made the right one!

Unknown said...


I'm a dixie chick from the A_T_L and have had the joy and pain of figuring in a beloved god-daughter who was disable to gatherings of family and friends. We learned so much from her short time with us that I thought I might share. Her parents were both committed to Jade but also to the community of disabilities. They taught us to be universal in our thinking and advocate for full participation of our communities.

They were in a position to design their home to give Jade full access. We learned how easy with cooperation from all to modify our homes to make her visits possible (installing ramps for access, finding organizations that would provide free or cost-effective barrier free strategies etc. to awaken our sensibilities and create homes that were welcoming for all (elders benefited from these changes as well). Sweden is cutting edge and all homes are designed for accessibility. Don't get me wrong I know we can't all redesign our space but we can become more informed and supportive of our friends and family who love us (and we love them)to feel welcomed and make it practical to do so. And families who are more mobile we can upon invitation accept and help Dana and Michael create tradition in their homes as well. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox