Friday, October 15, 2010

Our Bed Sits Up

A couple of months ago, we received a HUGE BLESSING from Michael's Aunt Teresa and Uncle Terry.

An adjustable bed.

An adjustable bed has many benefits for us since Michael can't sit up on his own. It gives him more independence, and ideally, lets us sit up in bed to eat breakfast in bed, or read, or watch TV, or do other things. :)

We had planned on getting an adjustable bed "one day," but since they cost in the neighborhood of $5,000 it wasn't really ever going to happen. Originally, we were going to use every dollar we got from our wedding and start saving toward getting the bed. But then, you know how that goes, life got in the way of that saving idea.

For our first year of marriage, we slept in my queen sized bed. It was nothing fancy, but it did the job. We did get kind of crowded, though, because between us we use something like 7 or 8 pillows, depending on the night!

Then, out of the blue, Michael gets a phone call from his Aunt Teresa. One of Uncle Terry's family members passed away and they inherited some money and wanted to use some of it to buy us this bed.

Michael called me at work, very excited. Here's where my wonderful ability to take a perfectly happy thing that is a "blessing" and turn it into something horrible comes in. I tried to act excited when I was on the phone with him. But when we got off the phone, I cried.

It wasn't that I didn't want the bed. I did! Especially since I knew we could get a king sized bed and I would have room to build my pillow fort that I like to build! :)

I didn't want to need an adjustable bed. This happens to me a lot. (If I'm feeling open and post about my feelings a lot, you'll definitely see this recurring theme!) This is one of the "issues" I'm still trying to work through. I don't want anything in our house that's special, or modified, or handicapped-looking. It messes with my denial plan! I didn't want to have an adjustable bed because I didn't want to feel like we had to have a hospital bed. I don't want our bedroom looking all hospital-y, ya know? Not sexy!!

But, I couldn't deny that this was a huge gift that we would never have gotten for ourselves, not for a really long time anyway. Michael did the research and found us this AMAZING bed. It's a king size, but it doesn't have two separate mattresses. I was totally anti-two twin size mattresses. We are not 78 years old, people! We are newlyweds and it's important to me that we sleep in the SAME bed, you get me? I did not want to be all falling in the crack, because you know it would be me who fell in the crack, if there were a crack! Our new bed is a sleep number bed and it's incredibly comfortable. And we got all new, beautiful linens and it's so wonderful I have to fight myself every morning to get out of it. It's a "wall hugger" model, which means we were able to put it inside a regular bed frame. So, it's absolutely beautiful, and it doesn't look hospital-y at all!!

I am so thankful we have it. It's been life-changing.

I'm still coming around to the idea of seeing it sit up, though. A couple of times M has sat it up and we've eaten breakfast together in bed. But, that's still hard. I still cry through that. Because it makes me feel like he's sick or something. And he's NOT SICK! So, we don't do that that often. We've also sat up and read, that's a little better.

The ironic thing is... today, I'm home sick from work. I was laying in the bed sneezing and reading and cuddling with Brokaw, and I realized... oh!! I can sit this bed up! And, instantly I felt like a schmuck. How dare my paralyzed husband sit the bed up, because noooo, that will make me sad. But here I am, with a head cold or a sinus infection, and I'm sitting up in the bed, sick. Wow.


Anonymous said... this the brat post??

Ok, firstly (is that a word?) that wasn't TOO bratty... I think its perfectly understandable and normal (probably) for your situation.

Secondly..if its too much for you to handle, I will take it. I can think of amazing things to do with a bed that sits up.


No, in all seriousness, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I wouldn't want my house looking like a nursing home, or have sickly-like things around..but you know, I don't think a sit-up bed is too bad. Like I said, I would love one! :)

I will be praying for you to adjust to these sort of "difficult" things to get through. I love your honesty and I'm sure you are a great wife, despite the bratty moments. We all have them,just about different things.

Love ya

Dana Brown Ritter said...

This isn't the bratty thing I did the other night, but it was along these lines. I'm probably going to be pouring my heart out all over the blog today since I'm home doing nothing.

You know what helped me warm up to the idea of the adjustable bed? Thinking of other "things" we could do in it! (wink, wink) A good friend pointed out that I should be thinking about that! :)

I also thought about how, YEARS down the road, when we have a kid, it will be good to have a bed that sits up because then M can hold the kid in the bed, and I can sleep :) Oh, selfishness....

Anonymous said...

"YEARS" down the road....bologna..the way you guys dote over children.. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Dana, I LOVE this!!! Ive shared you guys' story with so many people! The two of you are such an inspiration! I love to see the 'love' in both of you guys! Enjoy the newlywed bed :)

Kristen Maddux said...

Ok, this is becoming one of my favorite blogs because, Dana, girl you crack me up!
We've never met (but if we Kevin Bacon it, our degrees of separation aren't too far what with me knowing Mike from high school and then us both being 2000ish LU alums)....
ANY-way, I don't think the bed looks hospitaly at all. Just cozy.

~Mariesa said...

We're buying a new bed when we move, and um, you've put all kinds of ideas in my head about newlyweds and adjustable beds. Yes, I want an adjustable bed. :)
I'm sorry everyday things can turn into an emotional struggle sometimes (I think they do for all of us now and then)... but I'm happy to see you're sharing that struggle, and I hope it helps you to feel better. I know when we had all that nursing home-y crap in our house for that 6 or 9 months or whatever with my broken foot, it made me so, so depressed. To me it was a constant reminder of what I couldn't do, and that we had to do things "differently" than other people. You and Michael are such an inspiration in so many ways... I'm so glad we can be part of your lives, even from afar.

Mike Ritter said...

There's a whole lot of stuff D doesn't give herself credit for. Yeah, every now and then we get a butt load of "perspective" and just hang on for the emotional barrage. Sometimes perspective is refreshing. Thanks you guys for posting comments and reminding us how normal our situation is (at least, sometimes).

BTW, the bed isn't going on Craig's list with the other stuff.