Okay, so I realize this is a sad assessment of where I am right now, but here goes: So today I was thinking about how I really needed to update my picture on my myspace.com page, so I busted out the digital camera and held a self-portrait photo shoot here in my hotel room. I was trying to pick a picture to upload and I kept thinking, these all look wierd. I don't know what it is. I don't look like me. I guess it's because of the weight loss, but it's wierd. My teeth look big and my nose looks big. Do you think I look wierd? (see new pic to the right)
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Today my nephew, Jorden, turned 17. 17. Wow. He's almost a man! He's my first nephew. I was 9 when he was born. It was snowing that night. My little brother and I were home alone when my parents took my sister to the hospital to have Jorden. I was trying to win Bon Jovi tickets on the radio. I was 9. How funny is that? And you know what? I got through! And the jerks at the radio station told me I had to be 18 to win! That made me mad... like a 9 year old can't appreciate an instant classic like "Livin' on a Prayer"! Anyway, I just wanted to mention JT's birthday. I love you Jorden and I'm so proud of the man you are becoming!
Michael Jackson was right in that cheesy song. Tonight started out just as any other friday night... I am browsing around online. Only it's come to a place it doesn't usually come to. I am feeling something for two of my friends. (not like that, this isn't middle school) I mean my heart goes out to them. And I feel sorry. Sorry that I have been so consumed in myself to even realize that other people are going through stuff too. Big stuff. One of my friends just let a lot of people know he is gay. Another friend lost his job today. My heart goes out to them both. They are in my prayers. I don't know why I'm posting this. I don't guess many of you care what my friends are going through. They are just on my mind.. and this is my vignette... so there you go. Guys -- you know who you are. I hope you know that I do look up from my self stare every now and then and I really care about you. So does our God. May he wrap his loving arms around you and give you both peace. He loves you.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Below are the lyrics to the Chris Rice song, "My Prayer". The song is a simple vignette of what it's like to talk to God. I wish I could put my feelings into words like this. I can't, so I just listen, and enjoy. You should download this song... it's beautiful.
Fresh page, new pen
Where do I begin
Words fail, tears come
I need someone
To take the thoughts I almost think
And carry them to God for me
Deep breath, exhale
Breathe in deeper still
Long sigh, I'm still numb
Is there anyone
Who can find the things I'm barely feeling
And give them wings beyond my ceiling?
Right heart, wrong place
It's too far to outer space
Sorry, I forgot, You're right here
I cup my hands around Your ear
I feel you smile, You feel my breath
You listen while I whisper non-sense
Your will, I'm changed
And now my prayer ends
Thank You, Amen
Saturday, February 18, 2006
I am ashamed to admit it... but tonight i cracked open a Bible for the first time in, well, weeks... I know it's by no mistake or coincidence what I stumbled upon. I was reading through Colossians...
"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." --Colossians 3:23-24
I needed that reminder. I have been down this week because I am worried that I am not living up to the expectations of my new bosses. While thier opinion does matter, it's not the end-all, be-all of my existance. How comforting to know that what I really need to focus on is being me, for my Jesus. Just by doing that, and keeping my eyes on Him, I won't fall short of His expectations. It feels good to be in the middle of His peace and understanding.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Thank God it's Friday. I am so overwhelmed in my new job. It's really testing me. Testing me professionally. Testing me emotionally. Stretching me, challenging me, humbling me. I am exhausted, and couldn't be happier that it's finally Friday. I'm in love with Saturday and Sunday right now. 2 days of rest. Beautiful. My brain needs a break. It's been working overtime. I feel like I should stay in my pajamas all day, watch cartoons and eat macaroni and cheese. I need to just veg. I don't want to do anything that requires any mental effort.
So I left my last job because I was "ready for a challenge." Man, did I get one! This show that I'm producing is a monster. I feel lost in it. It's frustrating because I know how to produce a good newscast it's just I don't know yet how to do that here. I didn't realize how much work it would be, how hard it would be to not be familiar with the area, and how long it takes to get used to a new computer system. I miss Avid. (I know that doesn't mean anything to some of you, but it does to the newsies, I just had to declare that publicly) Every day is getting better, I learn a little more, need a little less help from everyone else... it's just hard to go from the top at one place to being the new kid, the one who "doesn't get it." Everyone is telling me that I'm making good progress and doing a good job... I'm probably just being hard on myself. I just hate screwing up. Unfortunately, that's just part of the process. And this process is the "challenge" I was so up for in the beginning. Sorry for the long vent... It's been a long week. I'll be recharged, well read, and ready to go Monday morning. And this time next week, I won't be as lost. Please pray for me as I grow.
Monday, February 13, 2006
I find few things more romantic than this picture. You've probably seen it before. It was taken 60 years ago, on V-J day in Times Square. There is actually a huge controversy over who the couple is. It's kind of a mystery. Who knows. Last year, NBC did a story with three or four old couples that claim to be "the" couple in "the kiss." Does it really matter? The picture represents such passion. A young sailor and a nurse. Victory. Happiness. Peace. In that time, it was precious. I won't be celebrating Valentine's Day this year... but I wish you and yours a good one. Enjoy the moment.
--the word "downtown" is actually pronounced "dahntahn" as if it rhymes with "wonton"
--Pitt's "Cathedral of Learning" is the tallest academic building in the Western Hemisphere
--the pull tab on aluminum cans was invented here in 1962
--so was the Big Mac
--and the Polio vaccine
--Pittsburgh has more bridges than any other city in the world (it has 2,000... Venice, Italy only has 409)
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Every now and then you come across someone who really makes an impression on you. When I met my friend Susan, I knew almost instantly that we would be friends. She is seriously one of the funniest people I have ever met. We rocked the morning show at WAVY... and talked about how one day we would be off that awful schedule and work together dayside. We did. One of the things I will miss most about WAVY is Susan. She's more than a co-worker, she's a real friend... and that can be hard to come by, especially in this competitive business. I know she will be an awesome mommy, and I can't wait to meet "Baby Tookie." Susan -- if you read this, thank you for being you.
I got a new car! It smells new and everything. I am uber-pumped about this. It's the first car I've ever bought. I am spoiled, I know. My last car, the Red Mustang was awesome. I miss it. Mostly because I have such precious memories of my grandfather getting the car for me. It was such a blessing. I was shocked. I know this may sound crazy -- but even though Papa isn't with me anymore, I still feel like he helped me get my new ride. I got the Escape on Ford's "A plan," it's a discount program for family members of Ford employees/retirees. For 30 years, my Papa Tom worked on the assembly line in Norfolk, building dashboards to go in Ford trucks. He retired more than 20 years ago. He passed away in 2003. But he's still with me. All those years of hard work helped me buy this new car. I love it. And I still feel connected to Papa Tom.
Now that I am officially a Pittsburgher, I have to lament about "The Terrible Towel." I got mine from a former co-worker who is from this city, Mike Booth. Shout out Mike -- thanks for the towel. My last night at WAVY, the anchors were doing their Super Bowl picks and my TT made an appearance. Les waved it around and wished me the best. That meant a lot to me. Producing is kind of an "all guts, no glory" kind of job. Sorry for the cliche', but it's true. Even after 6 years of producing, it's still cool to hear your name on the air. Thanks Les.
2 days later, it was time for me and my TT to cheer on the Steelers in the Super Bowl. Being in Pittsburgh for the Super Bowl was surreal. I have to thank my friend and Pittsburgh welcoming committee chairwoman, Gretchen, for including me in the festivities. What an awesome time to start a new life in this city!!
I have since learned more about the Terrible Towel. It has an interesting beginning. You can read the story of how it came to be here: http://www.steelersfever.com/terrible_towel.html