Easier said than done Bobby McFerrin. I am spending too much time this week worrying. I'm worried about renting my house out. I'm worried about starting a new job, making a good first impression, not making too many stupid mistakes, and learning a new system quickly. I'm worried about leaving my family and friends and co-workers. I'm worried about getting a new car, getting a new apartment, driving in the snow, making new friends, finding a new church, and even just the drive to Pittsburgh. Whew. Even typing that all out is exhausting. Somehow I have to figure all of this out and work every day between now and Friday. The good news: my to-do list is shrinking and I did file my taxes tonight. And the Steelers are poised to win the Superbowl. I know I need to relax. I know there's no help in worrying. It really doesn't solve anything or make things come together any quicker. Again, I KNOW THAT. And yet, I worry. Why? I think I'm genetically predisposed to it. I'm not blaming my mother or anything, but I did get half of my genes for her and she worries enough for the western hemisphere. Friends, I need peace. Please think of me in your prayers.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
If you're a regular around this space, you've read about my journey in Weight Watchers. It's been a fun one! I still have a ways to go... but I've lost about 26 pounds... and these girls were by my side all the way. We've lost weight and gained friendship. Shout out: Angela and Maria... I will miss you so much!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The following are my observations of a night of loss, or perhaps, gain. Tonight half of my city lost power. Dark. Cold. As I was leaving work my dad called to ask if my power was out. Isn't it funny how when the power goes out people call others and ask, "Is your power out?" What does it matter? I guess we just want to know we're not alone. We're not the only ones who are powerless. I knew my house was cold and dark... I didn't want to go home. So I activated my emergency preparedness plan. I went to Target. I ended up buying a random armfull of things. That's my strategy at Target. I don't get a cart, on purpose. I don't want to spend more than I can carry, although I have to admit, I have an impressive ability to carry a lot of stuff. Tonight I ended up with two new books, a pc mic, a pair of snow boots and two cards and gift cards for friends. Oh, and of course the Caramel Macchiato I picked up on the way out. (side note: whoever thought of putting Starbucks inside Target is a genius) On the way home, I literally saw the lights come on in my neighborhood. Ding. We're back in business. My dad called again. "You back on?" yeah dad, I am. Okay, so maybe this is a stretch, but I see a spiritual application to all of this. Think of the power, the source, as God. The darkness is where we end up when we're not following Him. We can find bright spots in the dark (Target) but those things won't bring the power back on. Once it's on though, everyone notices. There is relief. Peace. A new beginning. It's a little strange at first because you have to reset everything, but after a little tweaking, you're back on track. That's the little light that went off when I was driving tonight. I thought I'd share. Bright idea?
Monday, January 23, 2006
I am just wondering if it's possible to fall in love... with coffee. Seriously, I think I've met my match. I've never been drunk or high, so I only understand the power of addiction so much, but I was so smitten with my brew tonight that I am compelled to write about it. Now, I'm a recovering Starbucks Caramel Macchiato-a-holic. Weight Watchers pretty much killed my options at Starbucks. I mean, seriously, how much fun is it to order a Tall Sugar Free Nonfat Vanilla Latte? Let me put it this way: the satisfaction from the drink hardly lasts as long as it takes to order. So, enter my new vice: The Daily Grind. Or as I affectionately refer to it: "The DG." The DG is an adorable family owned coffee shop in Old Towne Portsmouth, thankfully just a short drive from where I work. It's also the place I met the Streusel Cake... it's almost always freshly brewed, and waiting for me. Just minutes after my first sip, I'm experiencing euphoria. I'm telling you, I'm in love. Today I bought my own personal pound of Streusel Cake Coffee, ground for drip. Is it sad that I'm ready to go to bed... just because I know when I wake up, the first thing I'll do is brew? I told you... I'm in love.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Well, here is my long awaited post... I got the job!! And after quite a bit of unexpected mental wrestling, I've decided to take it. I am very excited! The past few days have been overwhelming. The memo went out at work yesterday that I'm leaving. So many people have come up to me and said very kind things. Why is it that this always happen before you leave? People want to hang out with you, they tell you how wonderful you are... it makes you second guess your next move. I don't know what it's going to be like in Pittsburgh. I do know it will be challenging, and cold. I'm looking forward to the first more than the second. :) Well I better go, I have a lot to do in the next 2 weeks, and tomorrow I have to work, and of course, watch the Steelers game!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
It's not just a line from a George Michael song... it's a fact of life. Those of you who know me know I'm on the edge. On the brink of a major life change. Uncertain. Startled by ringing phones. Did I get the job? Am I moving? Am I ready for this? Is this really what I need/want? So many questions... I haven't slept well for a week because I've been obsessed with these questions. I play out scenarios in my head of the possible outcomes. Why? My work is done. I've done my part. What will be will be. Tonight an unlikely person encouraged me to put this in God's hands. Now I have a song on repeat on iTunes. It's "Walk By Faith" by Jeremy Camp. I think I'm going to have to listen to it all night for it so sink in... but maybe it will, and I will get some sleep.
"Come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
Tonight was a big night for Virginia's governor, Mark Warner. It was a night of lasts. We always pour so much into our firsts. Our first impression. Our first day. Everyone remembers your firsts. But you remember your lasts. What it took to get you there, and who you are when you reach the last whatever, and how you've counted down to the last (insert example). Tonight was Warner's last State of the Commonwealth Address. It's a formality. Everyone expects the Governor to stand up there and say "The state of the Commonwealth is... good." Of course it is. The occasion has me thinking though... what if I had to take a good hard look at the state of my life each year, and map out my plan for the next year? Not a bad idea, huh? Perhaps taking a look at the state of something would open my eyes to what needs to change. Thanks Mark. Best wishes.
Sunday, January 8, 2006
This week I went to Pittsburgh for a job interview at a TV station there. Now I'm waiting, not very patiently, to hear if I got the job. I wasn't really looking. Then kind of out of nowhere, this possibility of an opportunity came up. And true to form, I have gone from not looking to being completely obsessed with this. My hopes are way up. My heart will be broken if I don't get it. It would be such an honor to work at this station. They are so smart and creative, and quite honestly, out of my league. But if I get it, I will rise. I will grow and I will learn to play ball at their level. Here's a little glimpse of how obsessed I am: I watched the Steelers game today, and pulled for them! Ha!
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
At almost every family gathering, someone says they can't believe how much my sister Tracy and I look alike... which is funny because we have the same dad, but not the same mom, and we don't really look like dad. Confession: I am such a little sister. I love it when people say we look alike because I think Tracy is beautiful. And she is such a cool person, inside and out. She manages a profitable business, keeps an immaculate house, and is an awesome wife and mother. She isn't afraid to be real, and always gives me good advice, whether it's about shoes or life in general. We've gotten really close over the last 5 years, and her friendship is priceless to me. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for Tracy. I totally want to be like my big sis.
Monday, January 2, 2006
New Years Eve was the end for my mom and her husband's ownership of what has affectionately become known as "the restaurant." I mourn the loss of the free food, but I celebrate the return of my mom's free time. Here are some pictures of the fun. I was getting artsy, can you tell?
I love the holidays, really. But seriously, I am glad they're over. Now I can go back to just buying stuff for me! For real, I know I am not the only person who gets a little stressed this time of year. I was supposed to go to Hawaii for Christmas this year, then thanks to a little family drama, the trip was canceled. It turns out, that's a good thing. I am one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason. I'll expand on this idea's application to that week in a later post. Anyway.. I just want to say Happy New Year!! Make a resolution! I'm sick of hearing people say they didn't make resolutions because they know they're going to break them. Okay, not a good enough excuse! Maybe you will break them, but you definitely won't succeed if you don't set a goal in the first place!
Here are my New Year's Resolutions:
1. To lose 20 more pounds.
2. To volunteer somewhere.
3. To journal more.
I've always been an avid goal-setter, and when I make my mind up that I'm going to do something, I do it.... as so, I resolve. Try it.
I was just trying to save time. I have two cell phones. One for work, one for well, not work. I had voicemails on both phones when I got home from the gym tonight... so I did something really stupid. I called both voicemails on speakerphone, at the same time. Now I have a headache. You have to press "4" on one phone but "7" on the other to hear the messages... then deleting or saving is another nightmare. I don't recommend it. Don't try this at home. Take your time.